June 1, 2013. I will never forget this day. This is the day that finally I confessed my feelings for him.
I fear that what we have will changed. I fear that he won't understands me. I fear of losing our friendship. I fear of losing him...
I was actually planning of telling him everything next month. On the contrary, I am happy I finally did it earlier. Our night started with a fun conversation. We laughed till we dare each other on a game where I lost :)...and I ended up confessing to him. I feel so relieved that finally he knows how I feel towards him. It takes a courage for a girl like me to confess to a guy. In the middle of it, I learned that he knows my feelings towards him right from the start. For him, nothings changed. He still consider me as his friend and though he also has this special feelings for me, he thinks that it's not yet the right time for us. He don't want us to fall for each other just because of our candid moments together. He don't wants us to be in a relationship and ended up hurting each other.
I remember crying that night. I cried for many reasons. He is just there for me. Comforting. He told me he is afraid for this time to come cause he doesn't know what else to say and he don't want me to change to him. Whatever I told him, his answers were all written in the song he composed for me (in my previous post).
Though the feeling is not reciprocated, I was glad that he understands how I feel and he is mature enough to still be there for me. I feel relieved now that I told him everything. No more what ifs in the future and most importantly our friendship never changed. I could feel that it gets stronger. I hope this will be the last time I will cry and expect from him.
I may see a lot people happily in love right now, but I do believe that someday I will find the right guy for me and it's gonna be my turn :p. Best things in life, are always the ones worth waiting for.
